


Je veux te voire sourire et heureux

by vogue91



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-06 05:43:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14635290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: There was no darkness anymore in him, there was no pain nor sadness nor anger.His Yuto was serene, and it made him feel okay, made him wish to see him life this for the rest of his life.





	Je veux te voire sourire et heureux

**Author's Note:**

> The story is a sequel for "Your Shelter", becasue I just couldn't take the angsty ending.

When his parents had told him Yuto was going to visit him, Hikaru remembered to have felt nervous, extremely so.

He hadn’t seen his brother in over six months, and hadn’t heard from him in almost as long.

He knew it was going to be hard, and he couldn’t understand why Yuto had accepted it without blinking, without finding excuses with his mother, even something trivial, so that he wouldn’t be forced to go.

That he didn’t want to see him had been clear to both of them when, months before, Hikaru had been forced to lie to him about having a relationship, just to keep him distant.

To protect him, he had told himself then, even though in that particular moment of his life he was regretting his decision badly.

Hikaru hadn’t managed to bring himself to like anyone else. He had tried, he had gone out with his friends and had looked around, before establishing how bound he still felt to Yuto, how much he desired to have him by his side.

That morning, he had woken up early.

As much as he was aware of how little his younger brother was willing to talk, he wanted him to feel as comfortable as possible, despite everything.

He had quickly tidied his apartment, then had gone to the conbini to buy something to eat.

That operation took some time. He stayed still in front of the yogurts for ages, smiling without an apparent reason just remembering how much the younger liked the strangest flavours, a passion he had never shared with him.

He grabbed the weirdest he found, before continuing with the grocery shopping.

The rest of the morning went by slowly, definitely too much for his patience.

He didn’t care about what was going to happen during those days they would’ve spent together, he didn’t care that his brother could ignore him or that they could fight.

He missed him, too much.

He missed seeing him every morning, he missed talking to him on the phone.

He missed touching him and being touched, kissing him, making love to him.

He missed all those things that in time had become routine, and that now he desired to have back like nothing else in the world, even though having lost them was all his fault.

When it was finally time to go he sighed, as if he had held his breath for the whole morning.

Once arrived at the station anyway, he felt anxious again, and wasn’t able to keep it in check until Yuto’s train arrived.

Seeing him getting off the couch, he was almost startled.

It hadn’t been _this_ long since he had last seen him, but he looked different all the same.

He was taller, his features were sharper.

He was beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, more than he had ever been.

He went toward him with a smile, not managing to hide it despite the circumstances were telling him that he shouldn’t.

“Yuu.” he said, his voice almost ecstatic when he was close enough. “I’m glad to see you.”

Yuto raised an eyebrow, biting his lip.

“Hi, Hikaru.” he said, calmer, doing nothing to back away from his brother’s hug. “I’m... I’m glad to see you too.”

They didn’t say much else during the ride to Hikaru’s apartment.

The elder, to tell the truth, was trying to make conversation; not because he was comfortable, but because he knew how much worse of an option silence was.

Once home and taken care of Yuto’s luggage, Hikaru stood in the middle of the room, as if he was unsure of what to do.

In the end he sighed, pointing at the bedroom and forcing himself to smile.

“You can sleep there. Are you tired from the train ride? You can rest for a while, if you want. Tonight I was thinking we could go out for dinner, I know a place that makes the best yakitori. But if you’d rather stay home it’s not a problem, I’m sure that...”

“Hikaru.” the younger stopped him, sighing and frowning. “When are you going to stop pretending nothing’s happened?” he asked, in a whisper.

“Pretending nothing...” the other repeated, brushing his hands over his face, looking frustrated. “It’s not my intention, Yuu. I was just trying to make this easier, I thought that if I had ignored...”

“I’m tired.” Yuto interrupted him gain, as if what the other was telling him wasn’t sitting right with him, and he didn’t want to find out where it was going. “Anyway, I can very well sleep on the couch. There’s no need for you to give up your bedroom.”

Hikaru shrugged, discomforted.

“It’s not a problem.” he whispered. “Go rest, come on. I’m staying here, I… I’ve got some stuff to do.” he said, attempting a smile.

When he heard his brother closing the door behind his back, nevertheless, the smile disappeared.

Not that he had truly hoped to ignore the reality between them.

Just he had hoped that he wouldn’t have had to see that exact look of both rage and sadness on his brother’s face.

It was something he hated, and even more he hated thinking that he was the reason behind it.

He just wished he could’ve done something to fix it.

 

~

 

When Yuto resurfaced from the bedroom, it was almost dinnertime.

Hikaru hadn’t done much that afternoon.

He had tried reading and watching some TV, but he hadn’t been able to focus on either.

He had thought, mostly.

He didn’t know what Yuto had imagined during these past few months.

His mother had told him he had been in a bad mood, that he didn’t go out with his friends anymore, but she blamed it on him being a teen-ager and said it was just a phase.

Hikaru knew better, but had never had the courage to tell her anything.

When he still lived in Sendai, when they were still together, Yuto had told him that in that place it was like Hikaru was his sun, and that he was going to miss him terribly once he would’ve been gone, when he would’ve been hundreds of miles away.

When Hikaru had told him he had met someone else, that they couldn’t have been together anymore, that after all he was just his brother, that sun had disappeared completely, throwing him into darkness.

And now all that he wanted was to take his role back, tearing him away from the arms of that darkness, bringing back on his face that smile that suited him so well, without which he could barely look at him without remembering all he had done to him.

So he smiled, and he did that again when he saw him walk into the room, that confused and sleepy look on his face for which he would’ve mocked him, had the circumstance been different.

“So? What did you decide about dinner?” he asked, pretending to be enthusiast.

Yuto shrugged, sitting on the couch next to him.

“If you want to go out, fine by me. Whatever you want, I don’t...” he sighed. “I don’t want to be a nuisance.”

“You’re not.” he replied, quickly, then he bit his lip for the tone he had used. “Yuto, do you want to talk about it? Why did you come here with the idea of spending three days ignoring me? I understand how you must feel, I understand what I’ve done to you, but what I don’t get is why you’ve had to hurt yourself coming here. If mom’s instated for you to come you could’ve just told her you didn’t feel like it and...”

Yuto made a sarcastic sound, shaking his head.

“It wasn’t mum, Hikka. I asked her to come, I’ve...” he sighed. “I wanted to see you. Don’t get me wrong, I hate you for what you’ve done to me, but... it doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t change what’s happened between us and it doesn’t change that I miss you. That’s why I’m here.” he blushed, as if he had realized just now what he had said.

Hikaru opened his eyes wide, not at all prepared for that.

“Yutti, why didn’t you call then? Why have you been ignoring me for all these months? We could’ve talked, we could’ve fixed this. It didn’t have to be this way.”

“No. I... I didn’t want to hear from you, actually. It took me a while to elaborate what had happened, and when I did it’s been like the world had come crumbling down on me. I’ve started imagining you with your new boyfriend, thinking about someone else touching you, someone who was able to be close to you in ways I couldn’t. And I’ve also come to think that perhaps it was better this way, but as much as I know how rational it is, I can’t help...” he bit his lip, as if to hold back his tears. “I can’t help loving you, Hikka. To still love you. And I know I wrong it is even just telling you, because now there’s someone else in your life, but I couldn’t stand to bear this weight alone anymore.”

Hikaru blushed, embarrassed, and he didn’t even wonder whether it was right or wrong before revealing the truth to him.

“There’s no one else, Yutti.” he murmured. “There never has been, I...” he brushed through his hair, feeling panicking. “When I’ve come here I’ve spent too much time alone. I’ve overthought stuff, I’ve thought about us, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I couldn’t ask you to be with me, because you’re too young because, and we both know that, we’re brothers and it wasn’t going to be an easy life for us. That’s why I lied to you, that’s why I told you I had met someone, when it’s never been true. I’m sorry, Yuto, but I haven’t stopped loving you either, and that’s why I lied.”

He was expecting Yuto to yell at him. That he told he had made a mistake, that now he truly hated him, that had let him suffer for nothing, and he knew he would’ve deserved it, because the way he felt right now showed that he had truly been wrong in lying to him, when then he had spent every single day of the past few months wishing his brother still belonged to him.

What he wasn’t expecting, was to feel Yuto’s lips on his own.

And he wasn’t expecting to like it so much, as if lately he had been maimed of a part of himself that he was just getting back.

He searched for his tongue, playing with it, softly biting his lips, discovering again his flavour and remembering how much he loved it.

He pulled away for a few moments, his brother’s face in his hands, looking him straight in the eyes and finally seeing him smile.

There was no darkness anymore in him, there was no pain nor sadness nor anger.

His Yuto was serene, and it made him feel okay, made him wish to see him life this for the rest of his life.

He grabbed his hips, making him back off to the bedroom, meeting little to none resistance from him.

He pushed him slightly to let him fall on the mattress, then started kissing him again, feeling him melt under his touch, feeling how with the seconds ticking by every gestures seemed to become more natural, in that path that led them to get familiar again with each other’s bodies.

“Didn’t we have to go to dinner?” Yuto asked then, panting slightly while his brother freed him from his shirt and went to his slacks.

“Not hungry. You?” the other replied, raising an eyebrow, then Yuto burst out laughing, helping him undress.

The elder went with his mouth on his throat, brushing his tongue on it and starting a path south, biting down his chest while his hands moved from his hips toward his crotch, making him shiver under that touch.

Yuto pushed himself against him, anxious, letting him feel how much he wanted him, how much more than that he desired.

Hikaru didn’t waste time before complying.

After all he had been waiting months for this, and after having lost any hope of getting him back, this gift was more than appreciated.

He went lower, stroking his brother’s cock with his tongue, while his hand moved to his mouth and pushed him to open his lips, wetting his fingers.

He was almost captivated by that tongue and the sensuality with which it moved through his phalanxes, so much that it took him a while to find the strength to pull them back, bringing his hands between his legs and teasing his opening with one finger, pressing slightly.

He wrapped his mouth around his cock while slowly he slipped inside, trying to distract him and to make him feel as less discomfort as possible, not missing his wince when the fingers became two.

Hikaru moved slowly, taking his time preparing him.

When Yuto showed he couldn’t take it anymore Hikaru went back on top of him, looking him straight in the eyes and caressing his face, then took his leg and brought it around his hip, pressing against him and starting to push inside.

He carefully read his expression, trying to go slow, to resist that heat desperately clenching around him, letting go to a sigh once he bottomed out, as if he had been holding his breath until now.

He waited as much as he could, and once he felt him relaxed he started moving, pulling out of his body and pushing back in, and then again and again, a little harder each time, while the younger started moaning under him.

He had missed him. He had missed feeling him around him, he had missed that warmth and that feeling of wholeness.

He had missed his nails clawing his hips, he had missed him name whispered in a chant by his voice.

He had missed all about Yuto, and the wait was now coming to bear fruit.

He wrapped his hand around his cock, trying to stroke it steadily; he saw it clear on his face when he got close, and was glad that he still was able to read the signs so well.

He moved faster alongside his hand until Yuto came, arching his back to meet his hips and clenching his eyes, almost screaming while he spilled on Hikaru’s hand and his own stomach.

Hikaru slowed down for just a few seconds, looking at him fascinated, finding him more beautiful than ever, feeling his arousal renewed while he started thrusting back in him, harder, and like this it didn’t take him long to climax as well.

He appealed what little self-control he had left and managed not to collapse on top of him; he laid down at his side, pulling him close and letting him rest his head against his chest, sighing out of satisfaction.

They felt good, both of them.

It seemed to Hikaru like he had gone back in time, when he was still in Sendai, before that fractured reality in which he had hurt him so bad that now he felt sick with himself for having done such a thing.

“I’m going to graduate.” Yuto murmured all of a sudden, his eyes closed. “And then I’ll come to Tokyo. And we can live together, and be together as much as we want. And I don’t care how hard it’s going to be, how wrong it is, this is what I want. And I don’t want you to lie to me anymore Hikka, not even if it’s to protect me.” he paused, sighing. “If... if that’s what you want as well, of course.”

Hikaru chuckled, messing his hair.

“I’ve missed you, Yuu, you can’t even begin to imagine how much. I’ve kept thinking about how good it would’ve been to have you here with me, how much I would’ve liked to build a life together and...” he took a deep breath, searching for the right words. “And now that you’re here with me, I know I don’t want to let you go. Whether it’s right or not.” he said. “You’re mine, Yuto. Forever.”

“Yours.” the younger repeated, smiling embarrassed. “I like it.”

They didn’t say anything else.

Yuto let the elder’s caressed on his back cradle him, falling asleep peacefully while the other looked at him, a smile on his face.

“I love you.” he whispered low, even though Yuto couldn’t hear him, then he closed his eyes as well.

He couldn’t remember the last time he had slept so well.

 

~

 

The next morning, when Yuto got up, Hikaru had been awake for a while, and was now making coffee.

“Good morning.” the younger told him, smiling and getting closer, kissing him.

Hikaru reciprocated both the kiss and the smile, feeling at peace as he hadn’t in months.

It was such a homely feeling that he felt he could’ve easily grown accustomed to it.

Yuto then dragged himself to the fridge, smiling while he stared inside.

He pulled out a yogurt, showing it to his brother.

“Did you buy it for me?” he asked. “You didn’t forget.”

Hikaru shrugged, blushing.

“I haven’t forgotten anything about you, Yuu. I never will.”

They both sat down for breakfast and kept quiet, without feeling the necessity to break the silence.

From time to time Hikaru raised his eyes on his brother’s face, and he couldn’t help smiling, feeling happy.

The darkness, in its every form, had disappeared from those features.

And he would’ve done everything in his power to make as it could never return.


End file.
